To Teach

In my time here in Davis,

I've learned that I can teach, that I love to teach, that I am challenged by it. It is, perhaps, one of the most difficult things I've ever attempted. Standing in front of a room of wide-eyes. Leading them into the complexities I am still untangling. I know that teaching is important because I wake up thinking about it, and go to bed wondering if it will go well. I know that it matters because my heart races when I begin to speak, to council, and to guide them.

Philosophically, I am attempting to democratize my classroom, using the ideas behind Popular Education as my beacons in the dark. I've had guides that lead in this direction, but as they're modest, they'll go unmentioned. Democracy in our public education system is, to be light, a challenge. As student- teacher ratios increase it's difficult to remain participatory and democratic. I struggle to simply grasp all eighty of their names. How can you have participation and democracy without names? What's in a name? Personality, life history, culture, background, belief, influence... and on and on. All that plays a role in how people learn, what the gravitate toward, what they value.

I'm learning by doing. Falling, faltering, getting up, trying again. Attempt, re-write. Breath, sigh. Wake up. Try again. True hands on learning. Learning about learning, learning how to facilitate and inspire and ultimately teach. Again, a challenge.

In short, my new understanding of the courage that teacher's possess is profound. As a student I am grateful for their daily leap into the unknown, a giant trust fall. As one of them, I am thankful for my ability to practice- and hope one day to be able to execute the feat gracefully.